Why lactivists are given a bad name.

I've been "conversing" with this bitch on Twitter all day who give true lactivists a bad name. Her idea of supporting someone is to ask them NO questions about their situation and instead assume the worst in them. She defines herself as a lactivist, but she has very little interest in supporting moms who're trying to breastfeed; she'd rather insult them.

She quoted something she thought was witty. ("If I see a mother bottle-feeding her baby, I'm going 2 ask her if she could please cover herself up or go to a separate room ") I thought as a one-off sentence, it was pretty fucking insensitive and simply asked if there was any context. She apparently doesn't understand what that word means because I just found out that she was quoting from a larger piece of work. Instead of linking me to the larger piece of work like I ASKED her to, she insults my intelligence SEVERAL times, patronizes me and condescendingly tells me it's "not my fault" that I'm a "failure" at breastfeeding.

I'm keeping a record of our conversation and posting it here. If you want to read it, it's a bit hard to follow through. It basically reads like a chat. The person in bold is "speaking". If there's an "@", it means in reply to that person.

RadicaLactivist: RT@RenAldo1911 If I see a mother bottle-feeding her baby, I'm going 2 ask her if she could please cover herself up or go to a separate room

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist @RenAldo1911 am I missing context? Why would you treat random bottle feeders as rudely as some treat breastfeeders?

RadicaLactivist: @lynda it's a literary device. Metaphor or satire is often used to make a point. No context is required, just grasp of concept.

lynda: @RadicaLactivist is the point that it's ok to be shitty to someone because others may be shitty to you?

lynda: @RadicaLactivist I get the irony. Just irked by the metaphor. Anti bottle feeding.

RadicaLactivist: @lynda I am anti-bottlefeeding. VERY. bottlefeeding kills babies. 1.5 million of them each year. Hard NOT to be against that!

RadicaLactivist: @lynda NO, that's not the point, you've missed it again. point is to display how shitty they are to breastfeeders by showing it in reverse

lynda: Bottlefeeding's sometimes needed. These moms aren't the ones shaming public nursers, nor should they be shamed in public. @RadicaLactivist

RadicaLactivist: @lynda Again, never suggested they should be, I've told U several times now the piece was literary. Is there a reason U refuse 2 understand?

RadicaLactivist: @lynda only reason bottlefeeding ever needed=Bcuz no wetnurse avail. Bottlefeeding breastmilk is 1 thing, but formula is corporate poison.

RadicaLactivist: @lynda actually, bottlefeeding Moms are most often the WORST offenders for attacking and shaming breastfeeding Moms.

RadicaLactivist: @lynda however, most responsible Lactivists agree, when a Mom fails to breastfeed, it's NOT HER FAULT. Systemic sabotage is SO rampant.

RadicaLactivist: @lynda Read this 4 some perspective on why it's NOT a Mom's fault: http://bit.ly/37HXs

Here in the conversation, she says these things to OTHER people... totally contradicting herself to me.

RadicaLactivist: @Kblogger Gandhi=great! I try to practise this, have supported many Moms through unfortunate breastfeeding failures due to lack of support

RadicaLactivist: @Kblogger this is why I know SO well, that it's NEVER the Mom's fault. Medical community, society, formula companies, all sabotage Moms.

RadicaLactivist: @beckfromfrogandtoad absolutely. It's very small group [of women who medically have low supply], but those R the Moms that need help the most. Bottlefeeding breastmilk is HARD WORK

Back to flaming me...

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: Honestly, I thought it was a stupid and hostile way to get your message across. Anger at bottle feeders solves nothing.

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: I understand what you're trying to say. But from the outside, the comment appears to shame bottlefeeders.

RadicaLactivist: @lynda if you perceive it that way, from the outside, perhaps some consciousness raising would be useful. Y do you feel that way?

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: I may not feel like dragging my SNS full of breastmilk out in public. Another baby may not be able to latch.

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: There ARE reasons women bottlefeed besides the unavailability of wet nurses.

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: I agree it's a shame our society doesn't value breastmilk as a whole.

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: I also believe it's ignorant of you to say bottle feeders are some of the worst complainers of NIP. Statistics please?

RadicaLactivist: @lynda since ignorant means lacking knowledge and my pronouncement is based ENTIRELY on my knowldege, the term doesn't apply to me

RadicaLactivist: @lynda asking for statistics is ludicrous. Explain how you propose to gather such stats? Anecdotally, I have found, here &elsewhere, (cont.)

RadicaLactivist: @lynda aside from medical reasons, which is LESS than 5% of Moms, formula feeding is NEVER a responsible feeding "choice". Formula is poison

RadicaLactivist: @lynda only the fact that supports for Moms have been removed, allows formula companies to profit from harming moms and Babies.

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: Glad you have the money and resources to find breastmilk on demand. Not all moms do.

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: They don't need your vitriol spewed about them because of a stupid, broken system and society.

RadicaLactivist: @lynda I don't spew vitriol. Never have, never will. U have no knowledge of the work i do. I defend bfing Moms against those who attack them

caseyyu: @RadicaLactivist so you don't spew vitriol but are okay with saying "formula is poison"? Way to advance the discourse. *roll eyes*

lynda: I agree change is needed. That's not going to be accomplished by hostile comments, no matter how "literary". @Kblogger @RadicaLactivist

lynda: "Boob nazi" is a literary term I also find offensive and unneeded when referring to lactivists.

lynda: People need to take care in the words they use if they want to change anything.

RadicaLactivist: @lynda I find that those who attack most viciously and most often are formula feeding Moms. Happens DAILY here on Twitter.

RadicaLactivist: @lynda however, I have NEVER ONCE seen a formula- feeding Mom attacked by a breastfeeding Mom. It's a MYTH

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist :I never said breastfeeding moms go around attacking formula feeders.

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: Confront someone who attacks you, don't attack or judge someone when you don't know their situation. Golden rule and all.

RadicaLactivist: @lynda again, the piece wasn't angry at bottlefeeders. take responsibility for your own perceptions. why do you perceive it that way?

RadicaLactivist: @lynda I thought it was a witty and incisive tweet. That's why I re-tweeted it. You're the only one who didn't understand and commend it. Y?

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: If you're getting no other response, maybe your followers aren't very diverse.

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: I need to supplement: I should either drag my SNS out in public or stay at home?

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: Anecdotal evidence means nothing. Your experience is not necessarily The Way It Is.

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: Really? Because just like I don't support public nurses being shamed, I don't support public bottle feeders being shamed

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: Your literary comment has a BFer going up to a bottle feeder in public and being an ass to them unprovoked.

RadicaLactivist: @lynda You really don't understand Satire at all do you? The fact that u would say this really makes me wonder at the American school system

RadicaLactivist: @lynda fact that you "supplement" proves my point. U are a formula feeder. And you are the ONLY one who responded to the piece this way.

RadicaLactivist: @lynda PLEASE. go look up Satire and learn what it is and how it works. It will be a good and obviously necessary piece of education for you

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: No, YOU prove MY point. You ASSUME I supplement with formula, not breastmilk.

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: Again, nice judgment (proving my point) when calling me out as a formula feeder.

RadicaLactivist: @lynda You really lack the capacity and knowledge to argue Social Science methodology at all, never mind with a Professional Researcher

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: I love satire. It's usually aimed at the offensive party and not an innocent victim.

RadicaLactivist: @lynda I suggest you stop making pronouncements when you don't understand the basic predicating assumptions.

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: I've seen you resort to personal blows in conversations with people in the past. Not sure why that's necessary.

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: Are you kidding? How intelligent a conversation can you have in 140 character blurbs?

RadicaLactivist: @lynda The argument that U think you're having simply doesn't exist. I haven't done what U imagine that I've done. No-one has, or ever will

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: I get that you haven't done it. Either you don't understand the message that comment sends, or you agree with it.

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: It's hostile toward mothers, whether they do feed their children breastmilk or formula from a bottle.

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: It does not address the lack of support many women have, it highlights an example of it.

RadicaLactivist: @caseyyu just so you know, the conversation U were watching was 1sided. I retweeted a satirical piece from someone else that she (ME) didn't get

caseyyu: @RadicaLactivist I actually read your timeline. it's okay, I'm going to poison my daughter and feel just FINE about it. Toodles!

RadicaLactivist: @caseyyu she (ME) then imagined I was going around randomly telling bottlefeeders to cover up. WHICH DID NOT HAPPEN & proceeded 2 attack me 4 it

caseyyu: @RadicaLactivist And you don't need to give me a play by play. I KNOW HOW TO READ.

RadicaLactivist: @lynda apparently, you're incapable of understanding what you read, never mind having a discussion about it. How is that my fault?

RadicaLactivist: @lynda I've had many successful discussions where I have changed people's minds about public breastfeeding. But they actually listened to me

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: That's ridiculous. I told you I got it, but you don't get that your words have meaning even if you take no action.

RadicaLactivist: @lynda of course words have meaning. it's supposed to make you stop and think. the obvious ridiculousness of the proposition MAKES the point

RadicaLactivist: @lynda saying you "get it" when your tweets prove that you don't doesn't help

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: You assume because I do not agree with you in this instance, I'm not listening or comprehending what you're saying.

RadicaLactivist: @lynda i think what you "disagree" with is the very concept of satire. Basically what you're saying is that no-one can understand it, ever

RadicaLactivist: Maternal Guilt caused by resorting 2 formula is misdirected unless aimed @REAL ENEMY:Formula Companies who sabotage successful breastfeeding

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: Oh, also, I'd like to see you try to get enough milk out my boobs. Believe me, I've tried it all.

RadicaLactivist: @caseyyu if you had received support, true information and education, you wouldn't have to "supplement"

RadicaLactivist: @caseyyu I actually have many friends and acquaintances who've been forced to formula feed by Doctors, nurses etc who didn't support them

caseyyu: .@RadicaLactivist Fuck off. I BF my son for 15 mos and am still BF my daughter. You have no idea what I did to BF, so shut the fuck up.

RadicaLactivist: @caseyyu something that kills millions of babies every year is kinda the definition of poison

RadicaLactivist: @lynda I don't know yr exp. w breastfeeding, but I do know that formula supp. CAUSES decreased supply. NOT YR FAULT

RadicaLactivist: @lynda as far as approach AND politics, I've never claimed 2b anything but Radical. BTW radical means structural questioning not fanaticism.

caseyyu: this woman is nuts. @RadicaLactivist

RadicaLactivist: @caseyyu not nuts, reality. it's well known that supplementation is a great way to ensure BF failure. that's why formula companies market it

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: You need to stop assuming you know what people have gone through. Not supportive in the least. @caseyyu

RadicaLactivist: @lynda i never assumed, simply gave a generally applicable factoid. her response is her own (& perhaps her therapists) concern

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: My baby was 100% breastfed by me for 3 weeks. Did not gain weight. Did not poop.

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: This was AFTER I'd done everything recommended to increase supply.

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: I'm getting really tired of people like you assuming you know I haven't done all I can and I'm a victim of the system.

RadicaLactivist: @lynda i can't speak to yr own experience in 140 spaces. But true medical breastfeeding failure is VERY VERY VERY RARE.

lynda: I agree. Assuming the worst in ppl is more common. RT @RadicaLactivist: @lynda true medical breastfeeding failure is VERY VERY VERY RARE.

RadicaLactivist: @lynda U don't need 2think of self as victim 2realise it's not yr fault. and irrational self-defense is the hallmark of unconscious guilt

lynda: I *never* said I view myself as a victim. It's clear people like you view me as such though.

lynda: I'm fortunate to be given true support (and milk) from ppl who know what I've gone through. @RadicaLactivist

lynda: Telling a mom condescendingly it isn't her fault she formula feeds or struggles with supply is in no way support. @RadicaLactivist

lynda: Duh. Of course I feel guilty that my son can't be 100% nourished by me. My need to accept that is my problem. @RadicaLactivist

RadicaLactivist: @lynda the fact that you erroneously perceive support as condescending, says more about your own issues than anything else.

lynda: You are doing nothing to support me, just calling me a "poison" feeder when you don't even know what my child eats. @RadicaLactivist

lynda: I just hope your approach is gentler with moms you're actually trying to help. @RadicaLactivist

lynda: Hint: A satirical statement where a bottlefeeder is treated shamefully for no reason by a breastfeeder isn't a good start. @RadicaLactivist

lynda: I've been through this twice. With 1st I always wondered if I did anything wrong. With 2nd I realized I did it all right. @RadicaLactivist

lynda: I won't ever let go of wanting to provide my milk for my sons and being truly unable. I have a right for this to sting. @RadicaLactivist

RadicaLactivist: @lynda what I wish 4 you, is to let go of that guilt. I had to let go of my guilt for developing gestational and then type 2 diabetes.

RadicaLactivist: @lynda I can't ever have a natural or a home birth. But I totally agree that that should be the standard

RadicaLactivist: @lynda if you are giving some milk, then you aren't unable. Are you aware that pollution can decrease supply? How's that yr fault? it's NOT

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist I meant exclusively feed my milk, which indeed I'm unable to do. I cried a lot when I realized I still didn't have enough.

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist I am allowed to grieve over my inability to fully nourish my baby with my milk. I don't want you to wish that away for me.

RadicaLactivist: @lynda not wishing your grief away. wishing that you may reach the end of the process, instead of getting stuck in the middle perpetually

RadicaLactivist: Okay Tweeple, here follows a short lesson in Satire, it's history & uses. Check out the following links:http://art-bin.com/art/omodest.html

RadicaLactivist: That first one is the very first piece of (modern) Satire. A Modest Proposal by Johnathon Swift, where he suggests eating Irish babies

RadicaLactivist: And here's the Wiki for the piece: http://bit.ly/I2yzp (expand) . Which gives context &explanation. It's an easier read 2!

lynda: @RadicaLactivist: Funny, I was going to suggest Swift to you too. There's context there. It's not a sentence.

lynda: @RadicaLactivist When someone reads that work, they understand the whole of it. One sentence taken out of context may be misconstrued badly

RadicaLactivist: @lynda Satire can be misconstrued as a whole or in part. Misconstruction is due to failure of reader if Satire is well-crafted at all.

lynda: @RadicaLactivist yes. Your defense is that single sentence was a well constructed piece of satire. I disgree emphatically.

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist. I JUST found a link with a whole article using a quote you RT'd. So we've been arguing over the whole of a larger work.

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: THAT was the goddamn CONTEXT I was looking for. Thanks for insulting me MANY times in the course of this conversation...

lynda: .@RadicaLactivist: because you're apparently too intelligent to figure out how to point me to a link with the whole text of what you quoted.